A Job, I Have A Job!
I have a job! *happy dance*
I am now a daycare teacher at a church. The church has a k-12 school and after school 1st-3rd graders whose parent’s work late come to my class after school is let out. I have also been informed that when a teacher is unable to come into work, I will most likely be called in to sub the teacher’s class for the day if another sub is unable to be found.
Currently, I’m only teaching after school daycare, but I was told that I might also be able to teach early morning daycare. I’m willing to teach morning and after school daycare and sub part-time because subs make $50 a day and daycare workers make $8 an hour. If you think about it, I would be making a pretty good amount of money for a teacher. =)
The MagaBlog
Tobie James, my best-friend turned editor, asked me to write a piece on the earthquake in Haiti. To say I was stoked is an understatement. I was so thrilled to be asked that I started bouncing in my seat and singing, “I’m writing for the MagaBlog! I’m writing for the MagaBlog!” then I started doing a funky dance.
The other night I began my piece with help from Tobie. We searched the internet looking for information and things I could talk about. I hope that my article on the subject pleases everyone and comes out well. When the article is complete I will tell you to visit The Maga Blog where you can read it. While you wait for the article, please go ahead and visit the blog. There are great pieces on there that you just might find interesting!
“What are you doing?” “Doing dishes and dancing to Kings of Leon in my underwear.”
I love how I can say things to my friends and mother that are completely normal between us yet to an outsider would be completely weird! For instance, today I had to pick my little cousin up from school because he only had half-day and my cousin Holly was unable to pick him up. While at the school I was waiting in the lobby where parents pick up their kids and a friend called me. The following conversation took place:
Friend: “What are you doing?”
Me: “Doing dishes and dancing to Kings of Leon in my underwear. You?”
Friend: “Nothing as cool as that!”
Me: “That’s because you are not as awesome as I.”
Friend: “No, I’m just in public at the moment and am unable to do such things.”
Me: “Funny, I’m in public too!”
Friend: “Man, those people must be getting an eyeful!”
Me: “Yes, they love my smexy body.”
Friend: “So what are you really doing with your smexy body?”
Me: “You are totally setting yourself up with more weird answers.”
Friend: “I’m aware of that. But seriously, what are you doing?”
Me: “Picking up my little cousin from school and freaking out the parents and other people picking up kids.”
Friend: “You realize your my hero, right?”
Me: “Oh please pull a Bella and start singing that song for me!”
Friend: “You aren’t that much of a hero to me.”
Me: “And this is why you suck.”
Friend: “I don’t only suck, I swallow!”
Me: “I love you.”
Friend: “I know.”
I. HAVE.AMAZING.FRIENDS!
Now onto more better news:
I HAVE A DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT FINALLY! I have gone about 2 years without insurance and I am finally going to see a doctor after all this time! So happy! After my doctor’s appointment I will ask if I can start donating plasma again. If you have never donated, please look into donating plasma. You get paid for it, but you also are helping save lives!!!
“You Awake?” “Nope, I’m texting in my sleep.”
The other night, my friend texts me between 12:30AM 1:30AM (I cannot really remember) and asked, “You awake?” Now, she will probably read this and most likely hit me the next time she sees me, but I cannot help but write about this.
I was so very tempted to text back, “No, I’m texting in my sleep.” just to see what she would say. However, I was nice and said, “Yup,” like a good girl. A while later she asks if I stayed home all day, like she had.
Now ladies and gents (or for those visitors that are both), where we live it has snowed a lot. So much in fact that if you can see the street outside your house, you’re lucky. I woke up that morning, took one look outside and said to myself, “There is no way I am going out there, not even if I’m dying!” So yes, I stayed home.
Now if any of you actually know me, you will know that I cannot pass up a opprotunity to use sarcasm. Naturally, I replied, “Nope, I went mudding out in the boonies.”
She sent back, “huh?”.
. . .
I had to explain to her that, that was sarcasm and that I had in fact, stayed home all day because of the weather just like most sane people do living here. Nuff to say don’t ask me stupid questions I’ll most likely answer with a sarcastic response.
Yeah, I know that wasn’t much of a blog, but I’m tired and blood is starting to get into my caffeine stream.
Choking mother, Christmas, and Happy Birthday, Packy!
Choking mother: My mother was coughing up a lung in our living-room. I shouted from her room where I am using her computer, “If you’re going to die do it while I’m still dressed! I am not wanting to have to get dressed again in a few hours just to go to the hospital with you!” She finally stops coughing and came into her room to glare at me, “Yes Katie, I’m fine, thank you for being so thoughtful to ask! I bet you were in here calculating those numbers to see how much you’ll be getting when I die!” Me: “Uh, duh! I need a car, new laptop, and a nice apartment to live in. Get ta dyin’ if your going to do it.”
Now before anyone yells at me for being so ‘heartless’, please know that this is how my mother and I joke. Our sense of humor is very, very morbid and not many people get it. I do not want my mother to do. Besides, I won’t be getting enough money from her life insurance to get a car, laptop, and a nice apartment.
Christmas: From my mother, I got a thing of Hershey Kisses, chap-stick, $25 Steak-N-Shake gift card, hair bands, hair brush (I needed one…my old one broke), and deodorant (which smells amazing!). I am also receiving $135 next week but it has to be spent on buying myself new jeans. I am the WORST luck with jeans. I am literally down to 2 pairs of jeans now because my last pairs either ripped or the zipper broke. I’m really looking forward to buying new pants.
From my Gran I received $50 which was spent on the teddy bear I got my cousin, seeing New Moon ($17.50 for the entire trip which shocked me a bit), and batteries.
My cousin got me the New Moon board game! Yes, I did hug her in thanks.
Grandfather: My Grandfather, Packy, died on January 24th, 2007. December 31st was, and still is, his birthday. On January 1st, my little cousin was born; every year old December 31st my family gathers at my Grandmother’s home and celebrates my Grandfather’s and little cousin’s birthday as well as the New Year.
This year I have been invited to my ‘cousins’ home for a party with some of our friends at 7:30pm. I am hoping to make it to my families gathering for an hour or so then head over to the party. I know if I do not make it to my Gran’s house she will be deeply saddened, as well as my little cousin. I figured if I can spend at least two hours with the family then make it over to the party everyone will be happy and I can have fun for the rest of the night with my friends.
Speaking of my cousins birthday, I got her a big toddler sized bear whom I named Emmett. She’s only 7 (going to be 
and has only seen Twilight once but loves the film (that’s right, I got my claws into her).
Question of the Day
Who is the last person you went to with a problem who made you feel that they would stay with you for as long as it took: not pull away, not end the conversation, not excuse themselves, or not hang up the phone…..until you were done?
If anyone actually reads this blog, please feel free to answer.
Of Cemetary Picnics, Porn Shops and Twisted Humor
Cemetary Picnics
Yes, you read the title right.
Sunday evening, before church, my good friend Sierra and I will be going to the McDonald’s by my house and then heading down the road (literally), to Albright cemetary to have a picnic. Yes, I do realize it is going to be 32 degrees with slight rain, but we do not care. I’m sure we’ll eat in the car if it’s raining, and if it is not then we will throw down a blanket and eat with the lovely dead!
I will post more on this little adventure Sunday night.
PORN SHOPS!
Today, I was speaking with Bella on the phone after she got off work (this is a usual occurrence). Some how we got on the topic of porn shops…don’t ask how, I cannot remember. I think it started with her saying she could only buy a certain shaving cream at a porn shop that she uses on her legs that makes her skin soft…anyways, I mentioned that when I was 19, my ex friend and I were bored on a Friday night (which happened often) and instead of going to Wal-Mart where we usually ended up at when we were bored we went driving and we passed a porn shop.
If you guessed that we did a U-turn and pulled into the porn shops parking lot, you are correct.
We walked into the shop and were greeted by a girl named Marcy. Marcy, unfortunately, worked with me at my old job Hobby Lobby. I was suppose to work with her the very next day bright and early. You can imagine the awkwardness I felt seeing her there.
Anywho, she carded us (thankfully my ex-friend had turned 18 the day before so we were okay) and we started walking around the shop. We were laughing at all the crap they sold there. Seriously, the things that people actually buy is hilarious.
Before we left, we saw this blow up doll in the window. Oh you cannot imagine the looks on our faces when ideas started popping into our heads!
We rushed back two aisles and grabbed a strap-on and a dildo. I don’t know what came over me, but yes, I placed the pink dildo (which I felt very awkward holding) in the dolls mouth (also felt awkward doing) and my friend placed the strap-on around it’s waste. We were then caught by a man whose child saw us doing that (apparently we were in front of a big window…). The father came charing in and yelled at another cashier in there (not my co-worker) and together we were kicked out.
Ex-friend: “I cannot believe we were just kicked out of a porn shop!”
Me: “We put a dildo in a blow-up dolls mouth and a strap-on on its waste and you can’t believe we were kicked out? Really?”
Ex-friend: ”It’s not like it has been done before!”
Me: “Yeah, but I’m sure a little girl didn’t see the other people doing it and told their father.”
Ex-friend: “Never know….”
Lesson learnt? Never do such things in front of a big window where a child can see you and point out your actions to an adult…
Twisted Humor:
As many of my friends and family can tell you, I have a twisted since of humor. I can easily joke about sex, drugs, death, and anything else that would usually have any normal person cringing in fear or disgust. Tonight, my friend and I had this funny conversation (well, I think it’s funny anyways…).
Abbs: lol but yeah do u get to go tomorrow
Me: Yup. I will be feasting with you lovely people.
Abbs: yaya
Me: 
knew you’d be happy to see my sexy face again haha
Abbs: lol i will be!
Me: Now I know you think I’m such a sexy beast Abby, but you’re married now, this affair cannot go on any longer 
I know, it saddens me too. bahahaha
Abbs: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lol so sad
Me: I know i’m so glad you understand my twisted humor
Abbs: lol yeah! its fun
Freedom!
Life: Since Thanksgiving, I have been sick with a bad cold. I have finally gotten over the rib-breaking coughs but still have that little tickle in my throat that is annoying but can easily be ignored. A few days after Thanksgiving, I hurt myself by coughing (yeah, it’s possible believe me!). You see, I was coughing so hard that I jerked and I pulled a muscle which ended up pinching a nerve. Painful is not the word I would use to describe the pain. No, more like “What the hell just shoot me now!” is what I would say.
I could not turn my head to either side nor up and down. Laying down on my back was impossible and sleeping on my sides had me near tears. I have finally started healing!! *happy dance ensues* I can now look to my right, up, down, as well as sleep on my back and sides. My neck is still stiff and sore whenever I look to the left, which makes driving annoying, but not unbearable like it was before.
I’m just so happy I can move without having sharp, burning pain in my neck and right shoulder; especially after bending over. You know how much crap I dropped that I had to bend over and pick it up? A LOT!
I saw it as God laughing at me. I could hear him actually. Every time I dropped an item (usually my phone or iPod) and I’d say “Oh crap…” then try and bend over, I could hear him laughing. He was. Oh yes, he was!
Movies: I CANNOT WAIT FOR ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS SQUEAKQUEL! Matthew Gray Gubler is in it! For those of you who do not know who this man is, he plays the hot, sexy, genius Dr. Reid on the amazingly awesome show Criminal Minds. He also plays Simon in the movie.
Yes, I do have a slight ‘crush’ on Mr. Gubler. I am not afraid to admit this!
Other movies I want to see is New Moon. I watched bits and pieces online (’cause I could only find a couple of minutes of the movie online…I dare not download it. Viruses have a habit of finding me). I want to watch the whole movie and not just the jaw dropping, drool making, shirtless scenes of both Rob and Taylor (I so drooled more over Taylor which I feel kinda pedophile-ish for doing).
Church: Yeah, I’m now a teacher at church….I find this extremely odd. I teach the 2-5 year olds in a small, crowded room that is actually half a room. We had to build a wall and a doorway to split the room so we could make a nursery and a Pre-K room. Wish we hadn’t though, we have so little space.
Anyways, I don’t exactly teach. I actually just entertain the kids for an hour by making them do weird things like random dancing, finding things that are of a certain color and when I can’t think of anything or want to be bothered I just let them play or watch a movie. I’m a lazy teacher, but a cool one. I’d actually teach them if they would sit still long enough for me to get a lesson in, but they’re 2-5 years old so technically their attention span is small…as is mine.
Stories: My stories are coming along. I have started yet another new story and haven’t touched my one fic in awhile….I should probably write the next chapter for it now, but I’m being lazy today. I’ll do it later.
College: Ugh, I hate it! The other day, I had an assignment where I had to identify fallacies. I had never heard of such things until now and they want me to identify them!? I had to grab my dictionary and look the word up just to figure out what the hell it was, then I had to actually read my text-book! Now, it may be shocking to some people but not all college students read their text-books because not all professors require it. I am one of those students.
That is my life thus far!
The Truth About Santa
This could be the pain talking, or the lack of sleep caused by the pain; but I have come to two separate conclusions that Santa Claus is either A) a stalker/pedophile, or 2) a vampire.
How did I come to these conclusions? Well, let me remind you of that Christmas song about Santa:
EXHIBIT A: “He knows when you are sleeping,
He knows when you’re awake.
He knows if you’ve been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake!”
He knows if I’m sleeping? He knows if I’m awake? He knows when I’ve been bad or good!? Clearly Santa has some stalking issues he needs to work out. Supposedly Santa is hundreds of years old. A man who loves children and loves giving them toys. Now this is what I don’t understand: Parents tell their children to never take candy or anything else from strangers. To never go with a stranger. Well, if they tell us that, then why do they let a ‘jolly’ old man come into their homes at night once a year to leave their children presents!? What kind of parents are they!?
EXHIBIT B: He is supposedly hundreds of years old, only comes out at night, and supposedly has the power to fly…
Anyone else thinking that Santa Claus is possibly a vampire? Not the Twilight, Anne Rice, Vampire Diaries, Moonlight or True Blood vampire type either. I mean the old-fashioned vampire that can fly, be killed by stakes, and doesn’t come out at any other time expect for night.
Clearly these two examples can tell you that Santa is either a stalker/pedophile or a vampire.
Who knows, he could be a stalking pedophile vampire!! Even worse in my opinion.
So parents, if you are smart at all (which you probably aren’t…), don’t go telling your kids one thing then turn around and expect them to be happy about getting presents from a creepy old guy that breaks into their houses at night to leave them gifts for no reason other than it being part of the season.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
P.S. This is a joke people. I realize that Santa Claus is based off of Saint Nicholas (as my friend has so clearly pointed out to me…as well as call me a nutter). Please take this in good humor. If you cannot, then screw you.
